I usually fancy at least three boys at the same time. Sometimes I don’t even know them. Like the other day, I was in a shop, buying MIZZ magazine, and this drop-dead gorgeous boy was on the till. I can remember exactly what he said. He said, ‘Hi. Do you need a bag?’ and I sort of went, ‘Ughnuggug,’ and he said, ‘What?’ and I said, ‘No thank you.’ Then he told me how much I owed, and that was it. All over in a matter of seconds. But the badge on his shirt said ‘Tyler’ and now I can’t stop thinking about him. I wrote his name all over my sketchbook for Art and then had to tear out the page before my teacher saw it.

I am ALWAYS getting told off for day-dreaming in class. It’s usually because I’m planning my wedding. Of course I’m not getting married! Not yet, anyway. But one day I will. And I know JUST what my dress will look like. White, of course, with a sweetheart neckline and a boned corset all decorated with tiny crystals. And really thin lacy straps to go over my shoulders – just decoration really. Then a full skirt (but not so huge I can’t get down the aisle, not Big Fat Gypsy Wedding type of skirt. OMG did you SEE them?!) with a train on the back, maybe a couple of metres.

And a veil, but only a really simple one, like the one Kate Middleton wore when she married Prince William. (I cried. Five times – three in the service and then twice afterwards. Once when they kissed on the balcony – actually I cried through all of that bit, it was soooo romantic!) And white shoes, with a diamante buckle. I saw some in a bridal magazine and they were so pretty and elegant. Only a little heel though because I can’t walk in high heels and it would be totally embarrassing if I fell over on my wedding day.

Of course I don’t know who I’m going to marry yet. It might be Tyler. Maybe next time I go back into the shop, he’ll look up and recognise me, and our eyes will sort of lock onto each other and he’ll know that I’m The One and…

Or it might be a boy at school I’ve got my eye on. He’s delish, but unfortunately there’s another girl after him.

My friend Tania thinks I am crazy. And I am! Crazy about boys…

Ah well. There’s a cute boy who delivers my dad’s paper every morning. I’m setting my alarm for five am tomorrow, just so I can catch him…

Adoringly yours, Libby xxx

I don’t know quite why it’s happening. I do try to take part. I listen to people, I smile in the right places (at least, I think I do). I go along to matches and to plays and clap. But somehow it’s as though everything is coming from a long way away. The Jasmine who goes along to those things; the Jasmine who listens and laughs and smiles – she’s not really me, she’s a mask I put on. Without that mask I’d just sit in the shadows the whole time. Maybe that would be better, I don’t know.

The only time I really feel properly like myself is when I’m at home, writing my poetry. I love words, don’t you? Words are liquid, like mercury, which is silvery and poisonous. I think words can be beautiful, bright and shining silver, but they can also be poisonous, they can slowly devour you from the inside out. It’s why when someone says something spiteful, I feel as though I’m turning black and withered inside. But also when I read a beautiful poem, it’s like the world is turned to light.

This is one of my favourite poems. It’s by Yeats:

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

I love it because it’s how I feel. Like if I offer something, someone always treads on it. I’d love to spread my dreams under someone’s feet – a certain someone – but he barely knows I exist. I shouldn’t like him really, he’s no good, everyone says so – but I can’t help it. He’s all I think about. And yet I know he’ll tread on my dreams because he’s done it before.

Jasmine

This new modelling agency got in touch with me. I’d been really annoyed with my old agency because they hadn’t got me any work since the job back in September where I stood around all day in a field and caught a cold. In fact, I’d sort of told them I didn’t want to work for them any more. So when this new agency said they were really keen to represent me, I rang them up. They asked me to send some photos over and then they wrote to say they would definitely like me on their books and they had about fifteen jobs coming up that I’d be suitable for. Of course, I was dead chuffed! And of course I signed the contract!

Only then they said I’d need to get some new photos done because the old ones weren’t up-to-date enough. I thought I’d get Danny to take some photos of me in the garden, but they said I’d need to go to this studio place and get them done professionally. The studio website looked AMAZING and I was really excited, but the photos cost five hundred pounds!!

I’m so embarrassed. I can’t believe I actually fell for it. I was so excited about having the photos done that I withdrew my savings without telling my parents, and I went along to the studio. I didn’t go by myself, before you ask – I’m not that dim. I took Jasmine, though she wasn’t much help. She just sat in the corner the whole time, listening to her iPod and pulling off her split ends.

I had the photos taken but I wasn’t all that impressed with the guy who took them. He didn’t seem to know a lot about poses and just told me to ‘stand there and smile’ – I mean, there’s a bit more to modelling than that! And he was done in about half an hour and I only wore two outfits. I said I’d brought three more outfits to wear but he said he’d got enough pictures.

He told me he’d send the photos direct to the agency so I needn’t worry about them going missing in the post. So I went home and waited for the agency to call. And waited.

And after about a week, I rang but nobody answered the phone, so I left a message. Nobody rang me back.  I was starting to get a bad feeling about it, but I didn’t know what to do.

And then today, there’s this item on the news about the agency – and it was all a scam! The photography studio was a scam too, working alongside! And they’ve got my five hundred pounds and I’ll never get it back! And my parents don’t know!

I feel SO stupid. I can’t believe I fell for it – and now all my savings have gone.

So if you’re approached by a model agency, make sure you CHECK THEM OUT and for goodness’ sake, TELL SOMEONE or ask around, or something.

I wish I had. I’m about to ring my old agency and beg them to take me back. Wish me luck.

Samantha

Jake and I did a samba, as a kind of experiment more than anything else since we don’t really like the samba. We placed second in our group, which was great, but it wasn’t a proper ballroom dance competition so we were only entering for a bit of fun really.

The town hall was completely packed with people, I don’t know how many but there seemed to be thousands! Mari threw up twice before she went on stage, I’d never seen her so nervous! Sean kept saying, ‘But if you didn’t want to do it, why did you talk me into it?’ and Mari kept saying, ‘I DO want to do it, just not today!’ and being sick again.

But in the end they were simply brilliant. I’d helped a bit with the choreography and Jackie and Alys did some lovely dancing, even though it was all meant to be silly. Mari, of course, was fine once she got on the stage, and Sean managed to do all his steps without forgetting. His part was more about acting anyway. I sat with Mari’s other friends, Fliss and Victoria, and we all shouted ourselves hoarse with cheers at the end!

Jake was a bit funny with me afterwards and I couldn’t work out why. I had accidentally stepped on his foot during the samba roll, but I don’t think it was that. He’s been a bit funny on and off recently. It makes me nervous. We know each other so well, but lately it’s almost like he’s growing apart. I’m sure he’s keeping secrets from me, but I can’t work out if they’re about me, if you see what I mean. Having a boyfriend is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be. If Jake and I were to split up…well, I’m not sure we could be friends any more. That would be just the worst thing ever.

Oh God, I hope he’s not going to break up with me! Our two families have just booked to go on holiday together in the summer for three weeks!! What would I do if we weren’t speaking to each other? It would be agony!

Try not to think about it. Kate told me a joke the other day at school. It goes like this:

What do you call a horse wearing a Venetian blind?

A zebra

I groaned really loudly but later I told it to Jake and he fell about laughing. So he can’t be about to break up with me if he laughs at my jokes, can he?

Worrywort Megan

Jake took her out for dinner last night. It seems like such a grown-up thing to do, go out for dinner. She said it was nice but she felt a bit uncomfortable because the waiter kept coming over to ask if everything was all right, and the dress she was wearing kept falling down at the front (it was strapless) so she spent the whole evening pulling it up and hoping she didn’t have a ‘wardrobe malfunction’ as she called it. I did laugh, even though I felt a bit strange hearing about her date with Jake.

I’ve never had a boyfriend and I can’t really imagine what it would be like. Sometimes it sounds really good – I mean, Jake is nice and he’s always saying how much he loves Megan – but at other times it seems like a lot of hassle. Megan was worrying over the dress so much last night she didn’t enjoy her dinner all that much. Which seems a bit pointless, especially as she’d been looking forward to it so much.

I asked her why she didn’t just wear jeans and a nice top but she looked at me as though I were completely mad and said I didn’t understand anything about fashion. Then she laughed, and I did too because it’s true, I don’t. I don’t understand why girls wear high heels when all they do is complain about how much their feet hurt. And I don’t understand why they wear short dresses and then say they’re cold.

I used to like dressing up and pretending to be all posh, but now I’d rather be in comfy jeans and a jumper and doing stuff outside. I don’t suppose I’ll ever get a boyfriend that way though!

Kate

But this was dancing – and he just said no. Point blank. Even though it’s not exactly the scariest thing ever. Well, it is in a way.

I should probably start from the beginning. You know the salsa class I go to? Well, Corinne showed us a poster the other day about a county dance competition. It’s a sort of ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ like on the TV, only it’s just for Parchester. You don’t have to be brilliant, you can do a comedy routine rather than ‘proper’ dancing. So me and Jackie and Alys thought we’d put together something funny – only we need a boy to be in it too. (It’s about these three girls all fighting over the same boy and trying to prove they’re the best dancer.) And I’m the only one with a boyfriend at the moment. Jackie’s brother said he wouldn’t be seen dead doing it, and Alys’s brother is too young.

I thought Sean would be totally up for it, but he stared at me as though I had suddenly suggested building a spaceship. Then he just went, ‘No.’ Just like that!

How can I talk him round?! The competition is in three weeks!

Yours in frustration, Mari

Oh goodness, I’m in a muddle. What I mean is, without that show, I’d never have been in:

• A six-part TV series
• Two TV adverts
• A radio play

And that’s literally in the last three months! OK, the adverts and the radio play didn’t take up much time, but I had to miss loads of school for the series. The producer was so pleased with the way it went, he’s trying to get a second series commissioned and he told me he’d really like to ‘build up my character’ – !!!

This term I’m back at school, which is annoying in some ways but is SO brilliant to be with my friends again. And Tom, of course – I have missed him so much. We put on a silly pantomime in the first week of January – Mari was so disappointed that the Circle Youth Company wasn’t doing a show that she organised this panto. She wanted to do Cinderella so that she could play the wicked stepmother and she was totally brilliant! I played Cinderella and Tom played Prince Charming (of course! As if I’d be able to act opposite anyone else!). Victoria refused to have anything complicated to do, so she did Narrator stuff and sold ice cream in the interval!

It was all silly and not-really-very-good in places, but everyone who came (mostly friends from school and family) laughed so much they were practically crying, and we gave all the money to charity. It reminded me that acting doesn’t have to be all serious all the time. We’re already trying to persuade Mari to organise another one next year!

Love and kisses, Fliss xxx

I lost Snowy today. But it was alright cos we found him again.

Megan got cross with me cos I tried on some of her dance shoes. She said they were special and threw her hairbrush at me. It hit me on the head and made me cry. Mum told her off and Megan got even crosser.

I like our new house now. I didn’t to start with because it smelled funny, but now I like it. My room is really big and I can put all my train track out at once. Mum doesn’t like that because she trips over it. Dad likes it though. He keeps saying he feels like a kid again.

I don’t feel like a kid. I am nearly grown up. Next birthday I will be five and then after that I will be six and when you are six you are pretty nearly grown up.

We are going to a party soon with Megan’s dance class. I like dancing but I wouldn’t want to wear all that makeup. Jake always said he didn’t mind it. He would like my train set, I bet. I wish he still lived next door. In fact, I wish he’d moved at the same time as us and come to live in the new next-door-house.

Megan keeps talking about skateboarding. I don’t know why, girls don’t skateboard.

Jessica at nursery gave me a kiss the other day. She is my girlfriend and I am her boyfriend. I know this cos she told me.

Got to go, it’s macaroni cheese for dinner.

Owen (aged 4)
(typed by Mummy)

She was practising the triple axel. It’s hard – I haven’t quite mastered it yet but I think I’ll get it soon. Kerri was doing really well. She’d just landed one perfectly, and I think she wanted to prove she could do it, by doing another one straight afterwards.

I don’t know what went wrong. She was whizzing past me, and I saw her prepare for the jump. It didn’t look any different from the other times. She jumped and spun – and then she fell. It was a really bad landing, and even if I hadn’t heard anything, I’d have known she must have hurt herself.

But the crack! Even now – oh. It echoed around the rink. Everyone there turned to look. Everyone knew.

And she lay there on the ice, looking at me. She knew too, what it meant. If it was a bad enough break…then she’d never be number one again. I would.

When they x-rayed her leg, they said she’d broken it in five different places. She’s had to have pins and rods put in, to hold it together. They’ve said she won’t skate for months – if at all.

I don’t know what to do. She didn’t fall because of me – but I feel like she did. Because of that accident, I’m the top skater now. But every time I close my eyes, I see it. And I’ve started to see it at the rink too. As I come round the corner where she fell…it’s almost like it’s happening all over again.

I’m really scared it’s going to happen to me. But everyone is just carrying on as normal. I just have to pull myself together, right? Just stop thinking about it. And everything will be fine again…

Tania

It all seems to have happened so fast. One minute I’m playing Juliet on stage in Parchester, and the next minutes, I’m in Bristol filming a new TV series to be shown on E4! I’ve got quite a big part, too – I’m in loads of scenes with my ‘family’.

I can’t really explain what happens in the series, but basically it’s about this boy who gets in with the wrong people – like a gang – and it all goes horribly wrong, and all that. He (the central character) is going out with this girl, and I play her younger sister. The girlfriend is being played by Emily Maitland, who nobody will have heard of but she is absolutely amazing. She’s done loads of small parts in different things, but this is sort of her big break. So we’ve got quite a lot in common, and she has been SO helpful with all the camera stuff. I had no idea it was all so complicated!

Filming isn’t a bit like I thought it’d be either. You do such tiny short scenes, and you have to do them over and over again exactly the same way so they can get all the camera angles. There’s a LOT of standing around, but it doesn’t matter because everyone is so nice. There’s an especially nice catering lady who always saves the nicest bits of food for me because she thinks I’m too thin! (I’m not, by the way, but she is pretty big…)

I have to do lessons every day because technically I’m still at school, but it’s nothing like ordinary school. There’s a tutor who goes through stuff with us and sets us assignments, but it’s a lot more fun than some of my lessons! I’m going to be quite sad to go back to school afterwards!

I do like filming but it’s not quite the same buzz as theatre. The director told me I was doing really well the other day (I’d just had to do a really hard scene where my character bursts into tears and throws stuff) and he even said he’d like to work with me again!

I talk to Tom every day on the phone but it’s not the same as actually seeing him. I miss him loads – I’m only away a few weeks but it feels like forever, and I was only just getting to know him! I worry all the time that he might go off with someone else while I’m away (like the evil Samantha) but Emily says I’m mad. She says she’s never heard of a boy quite so besotted as Tom…which makes me blush!

I am loving all this madness but I can’t wait to come home and see Tom and my friends again!

Love from Fliss xxx